me no likey

Carrie is annoyed by lies. 

The Fruit Snack Conspiracy

I have recently had a devastating conspiracy come to my attention. The other day, I bought a box of fruit snacks. I was overjoyed as I ripped open the box to draw out the treasure... a bag of gummy goodness. I LOVE fruit snacks. They are so tasty, and probably have way too much sugar in them... I can never get enough of them. However, as I eat fruit snacks, I have a strange tendency to separate out the colors. I have to maintain an even balance of colors, and I always save the best one for last. You see, I am not a very big fan of the yellow snacks. Or the purple. and the orange ones aren't my favorite, either. I guess they are ok, otherwise I wouldn't like fruit snacks that much. But it is the red ones that I love. Like really LOVE. But, alas, much to my chagrin, my bag of fruit snack was full of 5 yellow gummies, 3 purples, and 2 oranges. The next bag proved just as disappointing. Yesterday, I finished my box of fruit snacks, and out of the 10 bags or so, I got to gobble down only about 6 or 7 red gummies. That's just depressing. 

So I took a poll of the general population, to see if I was alone in my love of red gummies. (And by the general population, I mean maybe like 3 of my friends.) They were in agreement... everyone LOVES red gummies. So where have all the red ones gone? There can be only one answer, my friend. 

We have a conspiracy on our hands. The factory workers at the fruit snack company have been hoarding (almost) all the red gummies. (They have to leave a few so as not to arouse suspicion. But they're not sneaky enough for THIS fruit snack fan...) And why would they do such a heinous thing? Well, it's obvious that these villainous workers are in league with some evil organization, bent on destroying the morale of Americans. They start young, shattering ideals of the American Dream among elementary students in cafeterias. With no red fruit snacks, how will these children ever grow to become all that they need to be for the future? Red snack contain flavanoids and birathionic acid that aids in the development of happiness in children. So now we are on the road to a bleak and depressing future, making our nation susceptible to this evil organization. And until now, we have been blind to it! Let's fight back! We want red gummies!!!!

Or maybe I just need to try a different brand of fruit snacks next time.