evil.

So my stomach got into a fight with a meatball sub sandwich today. The sub was being all sassy and what not, so gobbled it down, silencing its annoying protests and rude comments. but the sub did not appreciate its time out in my tummy, so it fought back. I finally threw up the insubordinate sub. Yucky.

So I was trying to figure out what could have caused this fight... the deeper reasons. Maybe the sub was just having a bad day. But, oh, no. I suspect treachery of the worst kind was involved. That's right. Poison. Poisonous berries, that is. I went to the park today with some Kate, Heather, and Catie today, and we got into a berry fight. These innocent looking berries were ideal for throwing... bb sized purple balls that got really annoying to those being attacked. In the midst of the berry war, my hands got purple juice all over them. I didn't think much of it. I trusted that those berries were simply harmless plants for our entertainment. Boy, was I wrong.

I washed my hands of the juice when I got home, but I suspect that my steering wheel had traces of berry left on it. So, my meatball sub was likely swallowed down with traces of berry juice that were picked up by my hands. Maybe that's a stretch, but that's all I can figure.

I asked the expert of such matters, Heather Cummins, Botany Extraordinaire, and she informed me that this plant was likely a "privet." Upon looking it up, I found the following info: "Privet (Ligustrum)- Ingesting any part of these poisonous plants may cause stomach ache, vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, or headache. Eating the berries of privet shrubs may even cause death." If this is indeed the culprit, I am apparently very sensitive to it. Another site I found said you usually have to eat like 12 berries for the poison to effect you.

Kate, from now on I will listen more seriously to your warnings about caution with plants.

Well, I am feeling better now. But I still don't like meatball subs and choose from this day forward not to eat one again.